Tuesday, 12 February 2008

Living

Living ? Let me make this plain - you do not live anymore; you survive, day by day !

When I was suspended, my family was recovering from the recent death of my dear father. At the time of his death, I could not conceive of anything worse - but I was wrong !

The British Education System has taken my life and soul. For 5 months, I have survived whilst my life remains on hold - no future plans can be started and there are no pleasures anymore.

We had an October half-term holiday booked in Spain; it was a disaster - I just wanted to be at home. Then Christmas was cancelled; as was a planned New Year break.

There can be no escape, no respite from the prison that now traps you - no matter what you do or where you go, your mind remains full of feelings of bitterness, resentment and anger. The frustration is unbearable - if someone would just listen then they would understand and know that the allegation was false ... but there is no one.

The only advice that I can suggest is to keep busy. On good days, I spend several hours at the gym which does help. There is a joke in my family about me not knowing what the kitchen is for; but I find that cooking has become a good therapy - at least, I am eating healthily !

So do not let anyone ever lead you to believe that suspension is a neutral act - it is a nightmare; a nightmare that will leave scars for the rest of your life !

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